In Tara Westover’s memoir “Educated”, she has a moment in chapter 15 where she starts contradicting and questioning everything her father has ever told her.

She imagines “a woman grown, with her own mind, her own prayers, who no longer sat, childlike, at her father’s feet. I saw a woman’s swollen belly and it was my belly. Next to her sat her mother, the midwife. She took her mother’s hand and said she wanted the baby delivered in a hospital, by a doctor. I’ll drive you, her mother said. The women moved toward the door, but the door was blocked-by loyalty, by disobedience. By her father.” (Westover 132). She sees herself as a grown woman, a grown, independent, woman, capable of thinking and acting for herself. She also sees her mother, accepting of all of the decisions she is deciding to make, but on the flip side, there’s her father. He disapproves and finds his daughters decisions completely unacceptable.

This is inner conflict of the heart and mind. She’s been taught all her life to live under the radar of the law, full of extreme, and unnecessary caution of the government. Her heart on the other hand, tells her to go out and not be afraid. To make decisions against the judgement of her family’s way of life, which has been her everything up until this point.

I feel at some point, everyone faces this inner struggle, of whether we should follow what we’ve been told and stay, or find a new path to follow and explore new cultures and ways of life. I know that I will assuredly face this inner struggle when I get to an age to be able to start making my own decisions.

So all this brings up one inevitable question, who can we trust? If all of our lives we have been told lies by the ones who care for us most, who’s to say everything isn’t a lie? If the people we love most are the wolves in sheep’s clothing, who can we trust to know that we aren’t being fed lies?

In the memoir “Educated” by Tara Westover, I can draw a very similar connection between the thoughts and feelings of Tara and myself.

In chapter eight, Tara writes about how even at only eleven years old, she was dissatisfied with the way she and her family were living. She expresses that she “wanted to get away from the junkyard and there was only one way to do that, which was the way Audrey had done it: by getting a job” (Westover 76). Already you can see her determination throughout the chapter she picks up jobs babysitting and packing cashews to make a steady income.

I have the same excitement to travel and see the world outside of this little bubble we call home. I absolutely agree and understand how she wants to explore and see more than just , in her case, the junkyard. These rules of being tied to one place, one schedule, one life, only causes our hunger for exploration to rage. People who have this wanderlust want to travel and explore to be able to live their lives to the fullest. In her memoir, Tara is also under a very strict household, I definitely don’t have as strict a family as her, but I totally understand the ten-thousand rules kind of thing .

This connection between Tara and I is something that helps me think in her shoes. A lot of times I have thought, “there’s no way they could be any more strict” and now, reading this memoir, I can see that it can most definitely be worse, and I’m grateful I don’t have it this rough.

This text brings up the question, is there a specific way we should be living our lives? We all know the easy stuff like “don’t break the law” and “go to school” but should we all be thinking one specific way? Or would that be our downfall? Is it better to all think the same or to run rampant with ideas and opinions? I know for me the answers to these questions is very simple; our ideas make us individual, we need our ideas and opinions to keep us the way we are, unique.

Space. It’s a vast open area with no limits, no bounds, nothing to hold back. Even gravity doesn’t have a tether on open space. It’s mesmerizing and dangerous. It’s so incredibly big no one knows how far it might reach. It’s peaceful and fatal. It’s silent and beautiful. It is free.

Out in the universe there are millions of galaxies with millions of planets, and each one of those planets is part of one of the millions of solar systems that are home to millions of stars. Stars. A sign of hope, light and eternity.

Sometimes, when it feels dark I imagine the first time I ever saw the beauty and wonder of the stars. It was when I was a little girl, and my father told me he had a wonderful surprise for me. He took this long, metal machine out from his room and into the backyard. I sat and watched as he set up his odd contraption, and I wondered why I had never seen it before. He told me to look up, and he asked what I saw, I told him I saw faint white lights, the clouds were hazing my view of them, making it hard to tell if they were there at all. He told me, “Look through here,” and when I did, I was amazed. They weren’t faint at all, they were vibrant and beautiful. He told me, “Never forget this, these are stars, they burn from the love of a million hearts, including yours and mine. Remember, even during the day, these stars shine. Always remember that when you can’t find the light, be the light.” and to this day I have never forgotten his words.

My father taught me some of my most valuable lessons, and showed me some of the most beautiful sights anyone could ever see.

Little did I know those stars would be one of the last memories I had with him.

My father was shot on his shift as a police officer in Phoenix, Arizona. He pulled over a man to tell him his car lights were out and the man thought the cops had found out about the drugs he was bringing back with him from Mexico. When my father confronted him, the man pulled out a pistol and shot my father in the chest. The man was later arrested and I was told that he was under the influence of crystal meth.

The stars have never seemed as bright since.

To this day, I’ve never met the man who killed my father.

I want the world to see that life can change in a split second. It doesn’t always take time, it doesn’t wait for a convenient moment. It does’t matter if you’re black, white, young, old, christian, muslim, or anything else. Life doesn’t differentiate between the rich and the poor. Anyone’s life can change at any moment, so use your time wisely.

You’re never too young to look at the stars, you’re never too cool to make memories with your family, and you’re never too old to change.

Music can be a lot of different things for a lot of different people. It could calm someone down or cheer them up. Music is for focusing so you can do your late night study and partying until the sun comes up. Every culture has its own type of music and within that there are genres, and for every person that listens to that genre they each have their own style. Music is so diverse but it is one of the only things that the whole world has in common.

Japanese Denim by Daniel Caesar

(Disclosure: This song uses the F word twice) This song is very calming and soothing and makes me honestly feel sleepy. It’s full of emotion and I honestly can relate. In this song Daniel is talking about the bittersweet sadness of lost love. He uses the lyrics to explain that he could be caring about other things but instead all hes thinking about is her.

“I don’t stand in lines, I don’t pay for clubs, f**k that

But I wait for you

I don’t like to drink, I don’t like to think, f**k that

But I ponder you”

Daniel Caesar

In these lines he talks about how he could be thinking, drinking, clubbing etc. but instead, he’s thinking of her. Overall, this song is definitely a sad one and it is one of my favorites.

wish you were gay by Billie Eilish

This is also a sad song, about a failed relationship (can you see the reoccurring theme here?). It’s about how Billie is trying to make a relationship work but he’s not trying, and a relationship definitely isn’t going to work if only one person is trying. It’s all about her and what she does for him verses what he doesn’t do for her.

“I just wanna make you feel okay

But all you do is look the other way,

I can’t tell you how much I wish I didn’t wanna stay,

I just kinda wish you were gay”

Billie Eilish

Within these lines, Billie explains that he doesn’t care, and even though she knows this and she doesn’t want this toxic relationship, she cares about him enough that it hurts to leave.

Goodbye by Who Is Fancy

This song is more of an after-the-break-up-song. It’s all about this guy who knows he just needs to end a relationship and is confident he can find somebody new. This song was a motivational thing for me a few years ago and it brings back some good memories of hope and good times.

“Once we were a fire burning,

Now you’re just a lesson I’m learning,

Please believe me,

This isn’t easy,

I just need to say goodbye”

Who Is Fancy

These lyrics are explaining how the author of this song feels about his current relationship. He is reminded of a time when they meant more to each other and now she’s just something he has to learn to get over. He explains that although its hard he is going to end the relationship because it’s not the same passion filled love they once had.

Overall, these songs are some of my favorite songs ever, and they say a lot about life and love. I guess those are somethings we, as a human race, hold very near to us, and very high up on our list of important things.